JOKES PAGE                                               





what do you call a girl with tiles on her head?    Ruth

what do you call a women who burns her bills?   Bernadette

what do you call a women between two posts?   Annette

what do you call a women with a drink on her head?    Cath

what do you call a man with a plank on his head?     Edward

what do you call a man with bacon on his head?      Mohammed

what do you call a women with one leg longer than the other?   Eileen

what do you call a Japanese women with a longer leg?   Irene

What do you call a deer with no eyes?   No Idea!

What do you call a fish with no eye?     Fsh.

Agnostic Dsylexic does not belive in Dog

Agnostic pimp purchased a Warehouse.


At the Senior Citizens Centre they had a quiz the other day. I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer was Africa .

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Negroes and Mexicans is not the correct answer either.

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping centre, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a moustache."

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know, 4000 f.....g Muslims have added me as a friend!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard”

The FBI has discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic explosives. Apparently prophets are going through the roof!

The Red Cross have just knocked at my door and asked if I could help with the drought in Africa. I said I would love to, but my garden hose only reaches to the end of my driveway!


Subject: Fwd: Tolerance
> I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built at Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant. Thus the Mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance...........(Read on folks I haven't lost my marbles just yet.........) :)
> That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, "The Turban Cowboy", which would be gay, and the other a topless bar called " You Mecca Me Hot ."
> Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called " Iraq o'Ribs."
> Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
> Next door to the lingerie shop, a liquor store called "Mohammered".

> All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so the mosque problem would be solved.
> If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan,
> please pass it on...for the sake of tolerance!!!.......!!!!